Forgiveness...

It is there, in fact, “in the depths of the heart,” that everything 

is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to 

forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy 

Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory 

in transforming the hurt into intercession." CCC #2843

Lent and I have a love/hate relationship these days.  It used to be fairly easy when it consisted of giving up candy, or my favorite TV show.  You know, real sacrifices.  I was always so proud of myself for going a whole 40 days without drinking Dr. Pepper, and for the growth in personal holiness that came along because of it.  But as I've gotten older, and my relationship with the Lord has gone deeper, my understanding of what Lent is really all about, has gone deeper too.  Lent isn't about my suffering, it's about Christ's.  Sure, the year that Lent coincided with Dave Matthews Band's new album coming out, and I had given up listening to them, I thought I had truly understood the pain of the cross.  But it's not about me.  What I've come to understand about Lent, is that the deeper meaning behind our sacrifices, however small or seemingly trivial, is a call for us to focus on our role in Christ's suffering.  Heavy stuff.  

I love Lent because it is a time of reflection that challenges me in ways that make me uncomfortable, and draws me into deeper holiness by calling me to journey through the most difficult of my struggles, into freedom.  That's a fancy way of saying it shows me what a mess I am.  And that's also why I hate it.  It's not Lent's fault of course.  I make my own mess, and I'm quite good at it.  Rather, Lent's job is to remind me that it's my mess that Jesus went to Calvary for, and Lent is quite good at that.  Sure, my sin and struggles are a year round event, but the focus on Jesus' suffering and death make for a nice reminder of the nails and wood my mess of a life provide for the slaughter.  

Oh, Lent...you sure know how to make a guy feel special.  But in reflecting upon all my specialness, my focus shifts to the reason for Lent, and the reason for the cross.  Forgiveness.  Talk about a struggle that makes me uncomfortable.  Christ died so that we could be redeemed, and our sins could be forgiven.  It's an intense reality to think about the fact that Jesus suffered and died to forgive the very sins that sent him willingly to the cross.  THAT my friends, is love.  But the more I reflect on the amazing victory of forgiveness found in the cross, the more I am forced to acknowledge my amazing failure to embrace forgiveness in my own life.

The lesson the Lord has been teaching me this Lent, is that forgiveness plays a powerful role in how we experience love, freedom, and joy in our lives.  I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going person.  I'm outgoing, easy to get along with.  But what I've been learning about myself these past few weeks, is that I'm also very...passionate, we'll say, when it comes to the truth.  When I am convicted about something, or really believe in, or stand for something, I'm a force to be reckoned with.  Another way to put it is, I'm stubborn.  Very, very stubborn.  This means I take things personally, and even when it might technically be justified, I let my emotions, hurt feelings, and pride take control of me.  I hold on to the injustice, and I use it, either as a shield, as a weapon, or both.  I feel good about that in the moment, but it never really satisfies the hurt I experience.  It just numbs it, and even if that numbness lasts for a while, at the end of the day, I haven't gotten to the root of anything, and I'm left again with my pain.

I've learned some hard lessons since Lent began this year, and the thing it has really showed me, is that holding onto the hurt, and holding on to the anger, is not only doing nothing to solve the problem, but it's actually doing more damage.  Imagine getting shot, and instead of going to the hospital, you spent your time talking about the shooter to other people behind their back, or showing people your bullet hole so they'd feel sorry for you.  Eventually, you would die, but it wouldn't even be because of the gun shot.  It would be because of your own inability to seek the healing you needed.  How many times do we do this in our lives?  We get hurt, and instead of seeking the Lord's healing, we try to protect ourselves, and in doing so, we hold onto it, and let is fester.  The sad truth, is that in doing this, in trying to defend ourselves, we become our own worst enemy

There's a great modern philosopher that speaks about forgiveness, and in my opinion really hits the nail on the head.  Her name is Mable Simmons, or you might know her by her more common title, Madea.  You know, she went to jail, had a family reunion.  Yep, that's the one.  She said, "You're walkin around holdin onto all that stuff, they sleepin at night...they got people dead in the grave, still got a hold on people walkin around this earth cause of something they did to them."  Wise words.  When we choose not to forgive, we let the actions of others determine how we live our lives.  How many of us walk through life using the ways that people have hurt us as an excuse for our own short comings and insecurities?  How many times do we put off our failures on other people, by blaming them for not doing enough to teach or help us?  When we do that, the injustice is no longer something they have done to us, but it becomes something we allow to be present in our life.  

The ultimate healing, the ultimate freedom, from all of that, is forgiveness. Like Madea reminds us, we give the power to our bondage when we choose not to forgive.  Christ chose forgiveness on the cross, and we were set free from our sin.  In the same way, when we choose forgiveness in our daily crosses, we are set free from the things that keep us from experiencing the love, the freedom, and the joy that God has for us.  If this Lent has taught me one thing, it's that I need to take back the power over my own heart, and to embrace the same forgiveness that Jesus did.  I need to stop living in the problem, get comfortable being uncomfortable, and learn to forgive.  Forgiveness is hard, but it's worth it, and the freedom we experience from embracing it will lead us to the fullness of love that Christ offers us.  

--Pat

The Cross

"Anyone who wants to be a true Christian, must mortify his flesh for no other reason but devotion to Jesus, who, for love of us, mortified His entire body on the cross." -- St Padre Pio


Why is that we avoid the Cross? Is it because we fear the pain in which sufferings bring. Is it the unwillingness to set our pride aside and to become humbled.  Is it that we fear others will see us not quite performing to the world's standard. It seems it's all of these but even more then that, it is the unwillingness to be made vulnerable.  In the cross we truly have to surrender to being humilitated and crushed.  We are asked to take on things that we may have never even thought about.  This idea seems so bizarre to most, and even to most Christians.  Why would anyone want to take on anothers sins? I mean if you have never dealt with perversity or unforgiveness why would you want to feel like your knee deep in these things, and just praying to breathe. 


I tell you the reason you are willing to take on these things is because Christ was willing.  Christ took upon himself our humanity and in his passion suffered for every sin of man.  So even Christ was exposed to perversity and unforgiveness and every other form of Sin.  Christ show us the narrow way.  He shows us how to operate in the Divine and overcome sin for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  "Now rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my  flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the Church" 1 Colossians: 24    

--Jason

Progress, not perfection...

Jesus walks with you, he renews your heart and strengthens you with the vigour of his Spirit. --Ven. Pope John Paul II

Lent is hard! I am just gonna be blunt and say it like it is--it's so hard. Now don't get me wrong, grace does ease the tension, but it does not take away from the fact that I want, what I gave up, or that I do not want to do what I added to my life.

It is hard to change and be different.  It almost seems like a greater challenge everyday.  I find that lent would not also be so difficult if I weren't being bullied everyday alongside the sacrifice I chose to make. Bullied, tempted, attacked, whatever way you would like to call it--but Satan is definitely on the prowl during this time of year, probably more heavily then he usually is.  I believe because their is more of an effort to try to be better then what we were, and well, HE HATES THAT!!! I mean you want to get to mass more, and well you will hit every red light possible.  You want to wake up earlier to pray, well then you keep hitting snooze and now you're just late for work. 

The fact of the matter is that there is clearly a battle for each one of our souls that is always happening whether we are aware of it or not.  I think we just begin to see it more clearly when we start to fix our eyes more our Lord, but most especially during the season of lent.

So where are you right now? Has it been difficult for you to stay on board with the sacrifice made? Well if the answer is that you have tried and failed,  then this lent seems like it is starting off pretty well! I say that because it is inevitable that we fall.  We are gonna walk and we are gonna fall flat on our faces.   

In my experience, I always think I can do what I say I am gonna do. I almost feel like..."really, how hard could it be?" And then God allows me to experience it's difficulty, so that a greater good may spring forth from that fall-- humility--the gift that leads me right where God wants me-- in His arms!! He reminds me with every fall of my need for him. He reminds me with every prick of the crown of thorns that He loves me so much more then I could imagine, and he reminds me with every hit from the whip of impurity that hits my body that strength is purified in weakness.

How truly great is God? He knew, he just knew that we would go through everything that we are going through in this very moment-- even as read right now.  He knew every hurt, every wound, and every anxiety, every torment and every lonely moment you would suffer. He knew what you would sacrifice this lent in some way, and he knew that it would be a challenge for you to do it.  He knew that we would fall short of the expectation we set for ourselves.  He knew all this, and let us fall. Not because he wants to see us fall, but because he wants to pick us up.  He wants to be everything to you.  He wants us to depend on him alone.  He wants nothing in the way of that dependence on him. 

What always seems to get in the way of that full dependence on God, for me, is me.  My pride, my self-centeredness, me, me, me...when it is all about me, it can't be about him, and well in that case,  it can't really be about anyone else either.  Lent is time for me to find out what I am made of and also whom I am made of, and that is God!! Lent is a time to rise to a challenge and see our limitations as humans and see how everything is possible if we put God in the center of it.  Lent is a time for growth and humility, both which will ultimately lead us to Love itself. 

Are you feeling discouraged already? Rise up and keep running the race. As St Paul states: Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. (1 Cor 9: 24 &25) 

Let us continue on and with every fall, rise, knowing that what we are racing for is an imperishable prize, that is, eternity--something that will not be attained overnight.  

The more we rise after each fall, the stronger we become.  No matter how far you have fallen, God's mercy and grace are always there to pick us back up, clean us off and push us onward and upward. 
Yes we will fight, and yes we will lose, but the loss will only help us lose the parts of us that keep us away from His loving heart. 

It is his passion and death that will be our food this lent. It will be the thing that encourages us and nourishes our souls as we walk this difficult walk with him. Jesus went through many of the sufferings we would have to endure, whether in an exact way, or by the way the certain situations made us feel.  He knows what it is like to be tempted, he knows what it is like to suffer humiliations, he knows what it is like to have a friend betray him, he knows what is like to be rejected, and  he knows what it is like to fall when striving to do the will of God!  Lean on him, trust in him and know that if you give him everything, he will give you everything.

-- Christine

Rend your hearts, not your garments..

All my strength lies in prayer and sacrifice. They are my invincible weapons, and I know, by experience, that they can soften the heart much better than words. -- St Therese of Lisieux

Transformation--the word I think of when Lent comes around. I think it is easy to initially think of the word suffering or just plain uncomfortable.  Most of the time I give up something I don't want to, or add something that will better me as a person for 40 days and that is uncomfortable and inconvenient to the life I normally lead.   

Why Transformation?  Because i know that every hard time I ever went through a hard time, or every time I had to give something up,  something in me changed.  Something in me became new again.  Something in me died and Christ could rise in me after 40 days---that something was my will.

When we begin Lent we start on Ash Wednesday.  This day we receive the ashes on our forehead and the following phrase is spoken to us, "Remember that you are dust and from dust you shall return."  Translation--remember you came from dust and you shall then return to dust when you die! Woah, those are  heavy words that almost seem to lack encouragement to start a great fast.  I always think, it is hard enough that I am doing this, let alone hearing the words of remember that this life is fleeting--and that what you are giving up is nothing compared to the love of God--so get ready! 

Now don't get my wrong I believe that what I decide to give up for lent is nothing in comparison to the love of Christ, but I may or may not know that Love yet, and  having that lack of knowledge in my heart makes the sacrifice harder. When we sacrifice for love, somehow the burden lightens! When we do a sacrifice with Love--our love for the beloved changes and grows stronger.  We are united with the one we sacrifice for more fully! As St Therese states:  Without Love, everything is painful, everything is tiring, everything is burdensome. The Cross, taken up hesitantly, is crushing; taken up smilingly, by free will, and with love, it will carry you more then you carry it.  Love makes time eternal by giving a divine value to everything.

When we die to ourselves, no matter what we die for, it hurts and it is hard. You know I think God means something even more when we read these words of Remember you are dust and from dust you shall return--I think it says--remember you are nothing without me, and you are everything with me.  In other words--yes this is a hard and trying 40 days but I am here to carry you, comfort you and share with you the pain in which you are enduring until you return to the dust you came from.

Another thing to remember is that we are always not called to give something up, but to add things to our lives.  For me it really does not matter whether I am adding or taking away anything  from my life--I am asking God to change me from the inside out and that my friends, can be painful. Why? Because we are asking God to change a part of us that we are use to living with, or change something within us that has helped us get what we have wanted but not necessarily what we needed to grow.

The key is make a commitment to God and yourself and try. That is all we can do and I believe that that is all God is calling us too...progress not perfection.  Rome was not built in a day and years of habits and possibly destructive behaviors cannot always be changed overnight. 

A wise priest told me recently: We do not need to be surprised that weakness is weak.  That spoke volumes to me. It really reminded to me that all my efforts, great and small are helping me decrease so that he may increase.  I believe that Our Lord is calling us to a sincere and genuine relationship with him. A relationship where we are real about who we are, and our own limitations.  He has no limits--he is all mercy--all love and nothing is impossible with Him. The most beautiful prayer sometimes is as simple as "Help me Lord!"

One of the great things about Lent is that we are all involved as a body--the Church. We are all walking this road of fasting and prayer.  Lean on one another and never believe the lie that you are walking alone or that if you mess up your fast you're a bad person-- both ruses that the devil uses to get us to quit. When you fall, get up again. Call upon the Lord and watch as He not only picks you up, but strengthens your life. Ask him for everything and see how he makes all things new, in you, and the world around you.  All we must be is willing. That is the key to this journey and our call to holiness. We must be willing...if you are not...ask the Lord for the willingness to be willing!  

May we take this Lent as an opportunity to grow in holiness.  Growing in knowledge of a God who is totally, in completely in love with us.  An opportunity to find out who we are, and who He is within me. How much room do I give him to live within me? How much time do I give him everyday? Am I willing to let him work in my life? Am I willing to change? May we allow him to take a greater place within our hearts so that we can become more of what he longs for us to be.

--Christine