Loss

"Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them". -- Leo Tolstoy 


Wow, loss is so hard! There are all sorts of loss...the loss through death, the loss of a friendship, relationship and also the loss of a dream. How hard it is to lose anything that the heart has invested anything in.  I think that is the main reason why loss is so hard, the heart has lost it's investment..or has it? I think that is the illusion of loss.  When I think of loss of think of the fact that if I hurt at all from it, it is only because I had put some sort of something in it. Whatever that may be--love, expectation, hope, etc. I guess for me I feel that no matter what I lose, I never really lose. 


My experience with loss has been great.  I have mostly seen people come and go into my life and have experienced a few deaths as well. What I found is that with every circumstance I feared going into the relationship or experience; the fear I had was, what if I don't get to keep what I have been given? What if all I hoped for is lost and I am left empty handed?  On the flip side of that picture is this--what if at the end of each of these experiences and even during them, I have something to learn about myself? What if making this investment of time, love, energy, etc helps me to become less selfish? What if this person, place, situation, etc is the gateway to my happiness? what if it is the thing before "The Thing!"  


The reality is that when I am in these situations I cannot, and sometimes even refuse to see, the above possibilities.  Why? Because I am unwilling to trust that what God has for me is better than what I can see for myself in that very moment.  What loss brings forth within us is suffering--suffering is contained in loss to draw us back to God.  He uses everything to bring us back to Himself...He desires that we desire Him alone! 


The image that comes to mind is a road-- The people you do meet along the way either get to walk with you or are your guide to the path that God longs for you to take.  It reminds me of a staircase--each stair is important for the journey to be completed--but each stair must be left so that you can reach your goal.  Sometimes we stop to sit down and rest, but each stair lifts us up and carries us further and further along the journey that we are called to walk in this life!! 


Loss has never been easy for me.  In fact I have fought a long hard battle with the Lord to keep everything that I receive from Him!! haha!  Yet what he has taught me is that the people he sends me are gifts--whether they be family or friends! They are all there to serve a purpose in my life. Whether that purpose be for wounds to be healed or virtue to be built etc. Holding on to them would have prolonged all that God had to do in my life. He allows us these losses to show us what we are made of and what we need to work on in our hearts! 


I was told one time people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or always! That is a hard truth right there!  I think it is pretty cool that God does not tell you how long people will be there and what purpose they will serve.  He does it so that we can trust him and that we can just enjoy the person in that moment and invest whatever the person or situation brings out of us. Whatever is brought out, is the blessing. 
When people die what happens: families get brought together, people make peace with each other, people remember what a gift the people were in their lives and old wounds begin to soften--why? Because great loss is painful because it holds within it great love--and love can do nothing but soften, heal and bring peace and joy! With every loss he makes more room for himself and he allows for us a great capacity to love! 


My greatest losses have always been my greatest blessings--he did not allow pain without a gift!  He brought out of me, with every loss, more and more of me! When i look back at what I have lost in my life: friendships, relationships, jobs, dreams, expectations, etc...all of them brought me joy at some point but their leaving in my life only brought me to something better! Everyone of them have made me stronger and more and more of whom I am called to be.  The loss always brought me back to the arms of Christ, who never leaves, never disappoints and who always has my best interest involved.  


I know for me today loss is still hard and I go into a lot of situations thinking, well I wonder how long this will last? Then I think, well if anything I am going to enjoy it and see what God does have in store.  I am going to love every person he gives me and see what kind of arrow they are in my journey! They may even be walking companions! All in all, I miss out when I don't enjoy the journey and all that comes with it.